It turns out that prison and student halls aren’t so different…
1. When, in the lead up to your big move to uni, the excitement of unpacking and decorating your new place is almost overwhelming.
2. Like, you’re getting way too excited…
3. When you introduce yourself to your new flatmates and you’re all just sussing each other out.
4. Then almost immediately organise a night out together.
5. Which begins with pre-drinks in the kitchen, playing drinking games such as ‘Ring of Fire’ or ‘Paranoia’.
6. When you all eventually turn someone’s room into a gathering place for everybody to crowd into.
7. When you stagger into the flat at 4 am in the morning, possibly walking into the wrong room or passing out in the hallway.
8. When no one can be bothered to do anything about the situation that is the absolute MESS in the kitchen the next morning.
Instead, you all just complain about it in the group chat.
9. When you quickly learn that you have to guard your food and drinks like a hawk.
10. You even begin to stash your snacks away in your room, because you just can’t risk leaving them in a communal space.
11. When it doesn’t take long for the inevitable passive-aggressive sticky notes to adorn the flat.
12. When the fire alarm goes off in the building for the fourth time that week because somebody burnt their drunken attempt at “cooking” at 3 in the morning.
13. Then when there are the occasional sneaky times you set off the fire alarm on purpose just to see who sheepishly steps out of your flatmate’s room.
14. When you forget your room keys and have to ring up your flatmate to come to the door.
15. When you walk into the kitchen in the morning in a bathrobe and are forced to make awkward conversation with your flatmate’s ‘friend’ at the dining table.
16. When you try to keep ‘adult sleepovers’ to a down low.
17. When you’re forced to ramp up the music volume because someone else didn’t keep their ‘adult sleepovers’ to a down low.
18. When you debate about whose turn it was to take out the recycling and the bin.
But eventually, you get tired of arguing, and just ending up doing it begrudgingly anyway.
19. When you come home after one 1-hour lecture feeling way too exhausted and complain about it to your flatmate.
20. When you occasionally get into mini-arguments with your flatmate…
…but both regret it and apologise soon after.