Starting uni in September?
Here is everything you need to know to survive your first year as a student.
1. Get to your uni halls early so you can claim the best cupboard in the kitchen and the best shelf in the fridge.
2. You’ll be so stressed about making a good first impression during Freshers’ Week but you won’t talk to half of those people past first semester. You’ll meet your actual friends by embracing the weirdo that you are.
3. Call your parents every day so that when you ask for money they can’t accuse you of only calling when you want money.
4. Just expect your food to get eaten by your flatmates then you won’t be disappointed.
5. You might think you’ll make that 9am lecture after a big night out. But you’re wrong.
6. Don’t be that a**hole who does no work for a group project.
7. Don’t be that a**hole who does all the work for a group project.
8. Reading Week should probably be renamed Lie In Bed For Five Days Straight Watching Netflix Week.
9. When you email your lecturers, don’tÂ ever expect an fastÂ reply.
10. Even if you attend every single class, by the end of the year your lecturer still won’t have any idea who you are or what your name is.
11. If you don’t want to be asked a question in class, sit close to the mature students. They like to talk.
12. 40% seems like a pretty crappy result now but in a few months you’ll feel like a genius if you get anything higher.
13. “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.” No you won’t. Write it down.
14. Don’t go to the library with your friends if you want to actually do work.
15. Don’t go to the library without headphones if you want to actually do work.
16. Save 50ps and Â£1 coins for the washing machines and bus fares.
17. You’ll bring loads of clothes to uni but spend 97% of your time in your pajamas.
18. Checking your bank balance will never make you feel good.Â
19. Fire drills only ever happen at the most inconvenient times.Â Like 5am. On a Tuesday. When you’re in someone else’s room and you’re trying to keep it on the DL.
20. Don’t ever tell your parents when you do well because you’ll increase their expectations.
21. You could skip a lecture and just read the slides on Blackboard later. But we all know you’re not going to do that.
22. When they tell you all the textbooks on your reading list are required, they’re lying.
23. When your friend tells you they’ve done no revision, they’re a dirty lying snake.
25. You can survive a full week on less than a fiver.
26. You’ll have no money but still somehow be able to afford vodka and new clothes.
27. No matter how hard you try, you will never remember how to do Harvard referencing.
28. No matter howÂ much work you have, your friends will persuade you to go out.
29. There’s no such thing as going out and having ‘just one drink.’
30. It’s possible to be so stressed that you start to feel unsettlingly calm.
31. It’s possible to have the best and worst time of your life at once.
32. Vegetables are for grown ups and rich people. A bowl of pasta for dinner every night is fine. Kind of.
33. There’s no such thing as free time anymore.
34. Naps save lives.
35. Despite spending six hours a day in school and studying at least 3 different subjects, when you get to uni, reading more than 4 pages seems like an unreasonable amount of work.
36. First year does count.