You know nothing. More wine.

1. When you saw what you looked like on your student card for the very first time.

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2. When your mum calls to ask if you’ve been eating well and looking after yourself and you’re like, “Of course!”

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3. When the lecture is almost over but someone asks a question right at the end.

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4. When someone suggests a weekend without drinking.

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5. When you and your friends realise that you’re all too broke for a night out so you try to convince yourselves that a night in will be fun.

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6. When your parents come to visit.

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7. And they start giving you lectures on how you need to keep your room tidy, you need to do your laundry, you need to eat better, you need to stop going out so often…


8. Submitting an essay you started and finished in less than 12 hours.

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9. Then once it’s submitted you realise there’s a mistake in it.

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10. But you finally get the feedback and it’s not as bad as you expected.


11. When you walk into a lecture and see that someone is sitting in YOUR unassigned assigned seat.

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12. When you attend an early morning lecture after a night out and immediately regret all of your decisions.

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13. When someone asks you what your post-graduation plans are.


14. When you’ve been in the library all day and your friend suggests going to the pub.

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15. When you go home for Christmas and you’re broke AF but your family and friends still expect gifts.


16. When you find out who you’ve been put with for a group project.


17. And you’re the only one who does most of the work, yet they still take credit for it.


18. When the lecturer asks if anyone has any questions but you stay silent because you don’t even know what you don’t even know.

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19. When you think about what life will be like after university.

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