beyonce money pay day friday bey

Going to university is supposed to mean that your life is on track

But when you get there you realise that none of your s**t is together. Like, at all. You’re scared to death of being unemployed forever, you can do your own washing without ruining at least one item of clothing and your love life is a mess. Mainly because you’ve run out of swipes on Tinder.

If you’ve ever spent some time reading inspirational quotes on Pinterest, you’ll know that self-improvement is all about goals – kick ass life goals. So here are some student related life goals to keep you motivated.

Goal 1: To be able to empty your ASOS wishlist into the shopping cart and click ‘proceed to checkout’ without worrying about your bank balance.

asos checkout funny

Goal 2: To be the ‘after’ in a before and after body transformation picture.

homer simpson fat mumu king size homer homer simpson mumu

Goal 3: To have a really individual sense of personal style and a never ending wardrobe like all these fashion bloggers on Instagram that seem to do nothing but are still really rich.

Banana Republic cute model red hello

Goal 4: Become famous on the internet and live like a Kardashian so you no longer have to deal with this.

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Goal 5: Be able to enjoy a sensible night out that doesn’t involve crying, passing out, vomiting and waking up the next morning overwhelmed by a gut wrenching fear that you’ve done something deplorable. Which, of course, you have.

Goal 6: To know which compartment the washing powder goes into in the washing machine, instead of just guessing and hoping for the best.

cat weird bra laundry washing

Goal 7: Take a real adult holiday where you stay in an actual nice hotel rather than slumming it in a hostel or sleeping on a friend of a friend’s floor during a boozy weekend in Berlin.

dog summer cool sunglasses vacation

Goal 8: Stop living in your overdraft and wincing in pain every time you look at your bank account.

john travolta confused travolta poor wallet

Goal 9: Know how to do Harvard referencing without having to Google it every time.

funny google

Goal 10: Look good at the gym instead of a sweaty mess in leggings that don’t fit and an oversized T Shirt that you think you got free with something.

movie monday mean girls regina george sweat pants

Goal 11: Feel full enough to say ‘no thank you when someone offers you food.

Goal 12: Be able to buy nice things when you want them, instead of having to walk around the shop three times while you calculate how much money you have to survive on if you buy said nice thing.

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Goal 13: Stop stalking attractive strangers on Instagram and feeling depressed when you realise you will never look like that if you carry on eating a whole pizza as a snack at 3am.

food eating fat lazy rugrats

Goal 14: Be able to ask your parents for a favour without using that weird baby voice.

Goal 15: Choose a bottle of wine that you like the taste of, rather than the one with the highest alcohol content.

new girl animated GIF

Goal 16: Do a weekly food shop that doesn’t just consist of a frozen pizza, a block of cheese, a multipack of crisps and vodka.

fine dining

Goal 17: Not freak out about being/your gf being pregnant every single month. Even if you didn’t have sex.

vmas pregnant pregnancy beyonce

Goal 18: Spend less time on Tinder and stop telling people you’re doing it for fun when really you’re sitting in your room Googling stories of people who met their soulmate on Tinder to inspire you.

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