You think spending first year living in a student village would somewhat help you prepare for adult life – gaining independence, learning how to cook and working harder than ever. Yet in reality you spend the year without actually having done any work, hating adulthood already and questioning how poor your life actually is.
1) You’re so bored of the same walk to uni. You have been since October.
2) And you’re so bored of the walk to the supermarket. You have been since October.
3) Your accommodation couldn’t look any more different than on the pictures on the website.
4) The kitchen table looks a state every morning after pre drinks. And there is spilt drinks on said table since September.
5) There’s about 7 full bin bags lying round because no one can be bothered walking 30 seconds to take them out. How dare they.
6) The cleaners are only recognisable by the amount of noise they make, not the actual “cleaning” they do.
7) Living in a student village is great, because you’re never more than 3 flats away from a party.
8) Living in a student village is also annoying, because you’re never more than 3 flats away from a party when you’re trying to sleep.
9) Trying to blag your way through security after a night out NEVER works, yet it always seems a good idea at the time.
10) There is always vomit around the place when go leave the village, and you can only hope it wasn’t yours after a heavy night out.
11) You spent half your time there letting someone in who has forgot their key.
12) And you spend the other half asking to be let in, because you forgot your key.
13) Why is there only 10 washing machines for about 5000 people?
14) And even though there’s 5000 people there, the sad reality is you only know the names of about 15.
15) The tea towels haven’t been washed all year and there’s always a complaint about the smell, yet no one can be bothered to actually wash them.
16) You’re never sure if you’re actually in the Stone Age because the internet is that slow.
17) The cat that hangs round the village was cool for about 2 minutes.
18) There’s always one flatmate who takes up about 99% of the fridge yet throws it all away anyway.
19) The village seems so far away when you have to make small talk with someone on your course you don’t like on the way back from lectures.
20) You always end up buying a pizza from the shop after a night out.
21) And when you find you left the oven on overnight, you’re surprised the whole village hasn’t melted down.
22) There’s a swanky part of the village which you always see but never hear about. Do people actually live there?
23) You’re still mentally scarred from that time the fire alarm went off in freshers.
24) Questioning the ‘no pets allowed policy’ when you’re living with 2 snakes and a cat that always drinks your milk.
25) But you question why people get so aggy when you drink their milk. Swings and Roundabouts.
You might also like: